Wednesday, October 8, 2014

31 Days of Halloween 2014 - Day 8: What's in Your Crate?

I was recently challenged by someone at Man Crates to write a blog post imagining myself trapped in a horror movie, and what items I would want in a crate with me.  If you've never heard of Man Crates, they are super clever and creative gifts for men packaged in a crate that you have to open with a crowbar (which comes with the crate).  How fun is that?!

Anyhoo, my first thought was HECK YES, I love challenges like that!  Then my second thought was, Wait, you don't watch horror movies, moron.  Like, ever.  Because I'm a total loser who will be fine during the movie and freaking out once the lights are off.  Ask my sister.  I *might* have climbed into bed with her more than once because I watched something scary.  According to her, I'm a snuggler ;P

But I digress.

First, I tried to think about all the different types of horror movies to narrow down which type I would be stuck in.  In a search of Netflix, there are a TON.  Seriously.  But here are some of the main types that I saw:
  • Alien invasion/some sort of infestation
  • Psychopaths hunting their victims
  • Zombies
  • Vampires, Werewolves - standard movie monsters
  • Vintage "creepy" but really cheesy horror movies.
I couldn't narrow down which one to be stuck in because they all sound awful and terrifying.  So, I tried to find common items that would work in any of these types of movie.  

In pretty much all of these movies, if you're a pretty girl, you're going to get killed.  Or eaten.  Or both.  So, first things first, makeup removing towelettes.  Throw those suckers in there.  And a baseball hat.  And some yoga pants.  Better be comfy while running from the crazies.

Speaking of, you're gonna need some seriously good running shoes, so get those in there, too.

Okay, now that we're de-prettied and in comfy running clothes, next thing to worry about is weapons.   Whether you're fighting aliens, zombies, werewolves, etc., most of your adversaries are going to be susceptible to different things.  Silver bullets, wooden stakes, guns and bullets, etc.  But I can't think of many that aren't susceptible to fire.  So let's put some lighters in there, matches, maybe some gasoline - oh, and hairspray.  Then you can use it with the lighter and have a jury rigged flame thrower.  Boom.

For those that have regenerative healing powers, well, if fire isn't going to get it done, then you're pretty much just screwed.  Sorry.  Keep running and hope they can't track your scent.  But don't run to the basement.  Oh no, never the basement.

A lot of these movies only last for a few hours or a few days, so food may not be as much of a necessity.  But just in case, you can throw some Spam and beanie weanies in there.  Don't forget the can opener!  It could double as a heavy blunt object to knock someone out with.  Oh, and water.  Duh!  That should have been first on the food list.  Fighting monsters is exhausting, thirst-inducing work.  Better stay hydrated.

I think those are the bare essentials.  Obviously, you could throw everything including the kitchen sink in there to be more adequately prepared, but I subscribe to the bare minimum necessities to keep it lighter and easier to carry.

What would you put in your crate?  Let me know in the comments!!

(I am not being compensated for this, btw.  It just sounded like a lot of fun!)

(Also, this commercial just came out and it just makes me crack up and think of this post whenever I see it ;P)

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