Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Animal House

Today was spent attempting to clean the doors, windowsills and trim in the upstairs of the house.  Just when you think you've reached the end of the nasty in this house, you go upstairs and are completely grossed out again.

I like me a good forensic crime show now and again.  After watching a few, you kind of pick up some tips on how to draw conclusions from the evidence at hand.  Here is the conclusion I have drawn about the teenager that lived in this house:  He was most likely a sex-crazed raging alcoholic...or he had a big party that they never, ever cleaned up after.

Here is my evidence:

#1.  While checking out the attic space that was accessed by this boy's bedroom, Brian discovered 3 empty condom boxes...hence the "sex-crazed".

#2.  We noticed a nice patch job in the garage that extends into the master closet.  Our conclusion is that someone drunk drove too quickly into the garage and broke right through the wall into the house.  While it could have been anyone, my money's on the kid.  And of course, they left it unfinished.  

#3.  And this is the grossest one.  I was cleaning all the trim and came across a bunch of areas that looked like someone had spilled something - food maybe?  And then all the pieces came crashing together...drunken son, upstairs by bathroom - OH.MY.WORD.  It's VOMIT!  Yeah...all over the place.  And they didn't clean it up.  Just let it dry there.  And then it occurred to me that that could have been the situation with all the strange spill and spray messes downstairs.  Maybe this kid had a massive party and they just didn't even bother to clean it??  WHO DOES THAT?!?!  Yikes.

You might not be able to see it well, but it's sunken in behind the door knob...this is AFTER I tried to clean it.  Good thing we're completely removing all the hardware and refinishing the doors anyway.  Sheesh.  

Honestly, I'm glad this is my first home buying experience.  I have no frame of reference, so I don't really know how it's supposed to be - though everything in me screams not like this.  Soon.  Soon it will not be disgusting.  Soon it will be everything we dreamed of for our family.  Yes, I am going to focus on that :D

In that vein, here are some progress pictures on what will be the boys' room:

Brian removing all the trim.

I love that man!  He's worked so hard on this house :D

Love the vaulted ceilings :)  So much potential!!

And from our trip to Home Depot:

Brian's best Gandalf impersonation with the drop rod for our new fan.  He wouldn't let me pass ;P

And...this candy at the checkout line at Home Depot.  #1 - who buys candy at Home Depot?  #2 is it salsa flavored?  Or is it spaghetti flavored?  Or neither???  Everything about this candy is an enigma to me...

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